Shadows of the past
by R.I.P.FLOOR
Summary: "Your child is so beautiful what's his name," the stranger said not turning her head to look at the child as she continued to walk and they follow. The mother smiled looking happy she was asked "Toshiro." Will contain sexual themes and adult situations.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own bleach if i did i would be rich, happy, eating pie, and not typing this disclaimer.**

**Prologue**

The small white haired child shivered as the wind bit at his skin. Next to him stood a short but beautiful women with equally white hair and sad brown eyes that gazed at the frozen wasteland known as there home.

"Mommy" the child said looking at her expecting her to acknowledge him as he stood next to her.

"Yes darling" she spoke unable to tear her eyes from the tragic scene that went on before her eyes.

The young child no more than 5 could tell his mother was unhappy so he hugged her legs as he shivered. Burying his face in then thin kimono that she wore he spoke again. "Mommy what are we gonna do now" his turquoise eyes were shining with tears as he spoke knowing he wouldn't like the answer but needing to ask anyway.

The women known as mommy to a young boy finally settled her gaze on his gleaming eyes. She felt her own eyes glitter as the setting sun shined on them yet failed to bring warmth to the small family. The words were stuck in her throat and she didn't know if she could bring herself to say anything more. "I..." her voice broke

"I don't know" she said tears bursting from her eyes

She collapsed in a heap on the floor hugging her baby to her as if he was her only lifeline and in a way he was, if he wasn't here she would have gave up a long time ago. The young family were shivering and crying huddled together as an approaching figure descended on towards them her graying hair tied in a bun and expensive looking kimono draped around her plump figure. She looked on the family with interest, they were beautiful, one day that child would be quite a looker and she wanted to make sure he was in her possession when he become as stunning she knew he would turnout to be. The mother wasn't ugly either and she was sure the women could get many clients as well.

Her legs kept taking her toward the broken family as the snow fell trying to take them for its own, But the matron wouldn't let that happen the snow could have them when she was through with them.

"I can help you," she said a malicious grin spread across her face knowing they wouldn't notice at the time.

The young mother looked up the tears blurring her vision so all she could see was a women-offering shelter for her offspring. "Really" though she heard it she was unable to believe it.

"Yes I have many young women under my care I have no children but I'm sure we could find him a place" the grin hadn't faded from her face and the sticky sweet words she said would do nothing to prepare them for there later challenges they would face living with the vile women.

"Thank you so much I'll do anything to repay you," the mother cried.

"I'm sure you will and so will your son" the matron was grinning even bigger now the winkles around her eyes were folding in making her seem even older than what she was, but none of that mattered because she found two more workers.

"Come with me I'll show you what you have to do." Said the stranger who had taken in the little family. They started to follow her as she led them into a new town they had never been to before. The young boy couldn't help but feel scared as they followed her. He had seen the look on her face even if his mother didn't and he didn't want to go anywhere with her.

"We have something to do now," his mother whispered to herself. She was unable to go on without a purpose and a stranger had given her one even if she didn't know what it was yet.

"Your child is so beautiful what's his name," the stranger said not turning her head to look at the child as she continued to walk and they follow.

The mother smiled looking happy she was asked

"Toshiro"

**Authors note **

**I've been thinking about this story for a while but due to my lack of enthusiasm for anything and my innate ability to procrastinate anything and everything this hasn't gotten written down until today. I will attempt to update at least once a week and promise that I will not leave this story unfinished like I do with everything else also if you have any idea who you want Toshiro paired up with just review I don't care if its yaoi or not but I will not pair him with mastumoto because I feel she is family to Toshiro. **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Every captain in Gotei 13 was all standing around waiting for the captain-commander to show up. Just by looking at each person you could tell his or her thoughts or personalities. I on the other hand was standing on my own trapped in thoughts about an icy paradise where all is quiet.

I was minding my own business not wanting to deal with anyone else at the time, when of course the Ukitake comes over. "Shiro-chan"

I hate being rude to Ukitake because I actually respect him as a Shinigami and a person he is one of the few who I can actually say I enjoy talking to and spending time with. Though not many people know Ukitake and I speak to each other often, he likes to say we get along because we are both Shiro.

"Yes ukitake" I say blandly not wanting to get into a conversation at the moment and instead enjoy the peace inside my mind.

"I brought you a treat," he said with a grin on his face. I grimace I hate anything sweet and its not for reasons everyone thinks. When I was alive in fact I loved candy and would be happy every time I could get it. The huge bucket of candy in his waiting arms made me feel a little sick and I couldn't even look at it.

"I'm sorry I cant except this I still haven't gotten through any of the others you gave me" I try to say politely but the sad look on his face is hard to handle.

"But shiro-chan I always try to give you the best candy" he had fat tears in his eyes looking at me pathetically. Damm now I cant say no….

"Fine" I say grumbling when he finally jumps the bucket of candy that happens to be bigger than me into my awaiting arms I stumble backwards abit until I set it down. As I look up I notice everyone stare at my interactions with ukitake. I ignore them and go back to my spot whilst putting a cold glare on my face. They all look away noticing that I saw their stares. As I get to my position I see the commander has arrived.

"Lately there has been some issues with our new recruiting Shinigami, there has been more cases of emotional trauma making Shinigami more powerful and we would like to start addressing this issue. We need to know why powerful Shinigami are made from traumatic experiences." Everyone looked startled or at least a bit disgruntled at the facts he was giving us, and I know my face changed from my normal stone cold to a little shocked.

"Toshiro" the captain-commander addressed me I was slapped out of my stupor at once and imidietly gave him my full attention.

"You are very young and managed to become a very powerful captain how about you tell us how you died so we can all understand you more" my eyes grew wider and everyone looked at me, none had ever asked me how I died and I never thought it would be brought up. How someone had died tends to be very personal to Shinigami and I am suppressed he asked me.

"I froze to death" I said calmly it was not something I was comfortable talking about or saying but I would rather tell them how I died than how I survived my whole life.

Everyone looked surprised not understanding why something that so close to me now was the reason for my death. In reality I completely understand why ice has become my most powerful weapon it took me away from a situation that caused me nothing but heartache.

"What were your emotions, if you can remember at the time of your death how you felt." Another question one I was less comfortable answering but he's the leader and would know if I lied to him.

"I was very happy to know I was dieing at that point to be honest" I looked around the room to see many of the other captains shocked. Why they were shocked I couldn't honestly say I understood, not a lot of people I knew when were alive were very happy but I mostly knew prostitutes and druggys when I was alive.

"How did you freeze to death anyway?" asked Unohana she had that motherly look on her face the one she gets when she's treating me or another young Shinigami. I glare at her mostly because I did not want to talk about this nor did I ever want to. I knew I had to answer though because the captain-commander is looking at me expectantly awaiting the answer.

"The matron of where I lived kicked me out during a snowstorm because I didn't want to do as she asked me anymore." I tried to act nonchalant, but Jushiro looked like he was about to glomp me.

Sui-feng was seemingly uninterested in all of these questions directed toward me "Captain why are we discussing this we should be looking for these Shinigami instead of speaking nonsense and asking Hitsugaya useless question." She stated firmly.

"Ah Sui-feng I gladly accept your input but shouldn't we understand why these Shinigami are made and what it has to do with there personalities and life experiences. I find it very important, now back to Hitsugaya." The captain commander seemed way too intent on finding more about me. During these meetings we never talk about things like this.

"Hitsugaya you said this matron kicked you out where were you living an orphanage" Byakuya asked I figured he would ask a question but I didn't think it would be this insightful.

"Captain Yamamoto I request we end this meeting." I said looking into his eyes silently pleading.

"No we must continue besides you are the best bet we have in learning about others considering you are a prodigy and the youngest captain in Shinigami history.

"Now answer the question Hitsugaya."

I sigh looking down not wanting to meet the eyes of anyone else in the room when I tell them the truth not knowing what their reaction will be. "I didn't live in an orphanage at the time I died but I had been to several at some points during my life."

"Then where did you live at the time" Juushiro asked looking at me sadly.

I know it was meant to be comforting but I didn't appreciate it for some odd reason. "I was living with my birth mother at the place we worked."

"Where did you work?" asked Yamamoto looking at me firmly seeming as though he already knew the answer but wanted to hear me say it myself.

"I lived in a brothel"

There seemed to be a moment of silence in which everyone was trying to take in what the captain of the 10th division had said. The prodigy, the youngest Shinigami captain in history had lived and worked in a brothel when he was alive for god knows how long.

**Authors note **

**1 chapter down now that wasn't so hard I feel so proud of myself. Only a little bit sad right it hasn't gotten to the so sad im going to cut my wrists stuff yet. I know I should make my chapters longer but im just so lazy so we shall deal with short chapters until I can bring myself to write longer ones. **


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